At just over 4 minutes in length, AGORAPHOBIC NOSEBLEED’S 2011 Christmas EP, A Joyful Noise, is barely long enough to warrant a review. The EP is so short, in fact, that it’s finished almost before the listener has a chance to process what he’s hearing. Don’t fret though. If you’re a fan of ANB, you’re already accustomed to the sort of absurdly concise blasts of hateful noise the band is known for producing, and there is plenty(?) for you to love here.

Most bands would half-ass a theme album like this, but not the lords and lady of AGORAPHOBIC NOSEBLEED. A Joyful Noise is short but absolutely crammed with obnoxious grindnoise, mean-spirited humor, and Yuletide merriment. In fact, future Christmas classics like “Frozen Corpse Stuffed With Holiday Cheer” and “With A Sniff and A Wink” will kick your teeth in with Christmas joy. And pay close attention to the beginning of “Ghost of Christmas Past”, where a sample of LONELY ISLAND’S “Dick In A Box” is used to make a (really funny) joke at Seth Putnam’s expense. I’m sure the former AXCX front-man would approve if he weren’t dead.

So stop lollygagging about, download this EP (it’s free at Grindcore Karaoke), and listen to it with your sweetheart while lounging in front of a warm fireplace with a nice mug of mulled cider. Or play it at a family Christmas gathering to ensure that your loved ones will hate you forever. AGORAPHOBIC NOSEBLEED is truly the reason for the season!